No matter what mama said, nothing prepared me for the post operative pain of total knee replacement. So let me catch you up to date. I had the surgery Thursday morning. Apparently they over medicated me somewhat and had a hard time getting me to wake up in the recovery room. No big deal, because I'm here to tell you I would have been fine with sleeping a couple of weeks. The two wonderful days I spent in the hospital went by in a drug induced blurry haze. A few hours after surgery some lovely young girl with two lovely young knees came into my room and said. You're doing great. Now we are going to get you to stand on your new knee. HUH?????
Okay, we all know that I am too nice to say you're mean, go away, so I just did what she asked and stood, took two steps sideways, and vowed to never walk again as long as I live.
Saturday I was sent home with instructions to report to physical therapy on Wednesday. Coming home was fun. There was my wonderful bed waiting for me at the top of a flight of stairs.
I don't quite remember my stairs being so long, in the past, but there must be angels waiting to hold my hands when I get to the top. No such luck. Just my sister, with a walker.
Yesterday, I wasn't feeling too well, so I decided to take my temp.
and what were the post op rules about temps? shuffle, shuffle, shuffle of papers. Any temp over 100.4 means a return trip to the hospital, and what did mine say? 100.6 The next question was how was I going to get back down those stairs. There definitely were not any angels waiting to carry me down, so I did the next best thing and dialed 911. I mean isn't it every woman's dream to at some point be carried out on a throne by three good looking men.
In reality, when the paramedics came, they looked at me and looked at the stairs and said "How'd you ever get up these stairs?" I don't know, but let's have a little respect for the sick woman here!
Six hours later, after being poked, prodded, x-rayed, and ultra sounded, the doctors declared me to have....... a post operative fever. Oh, and now you get to go back home and get back up those stairs. No problem. It's the witching hour of midnight. I'll just fly right on up on my broomstick.
So today I get to take my first real shower. I feel sure everyone who has to deal with me will be thrilled by that, and tomorrow I get to go for
I mean physical therapy. I'll let you know how it goes, but if you are within a 3000 mile radius of me, you'll probably hear.